Stars

So when I was growing up my family and I did a lot of things together.  We camped, visited almost every state capitol, and went on vacations to rather cool places like Nigeria and Kribi, Cameroon.  (We lived in Garoua, Cameroon so these places weren’t that far away.)  But some of my fondest memories come from those really hot nights in Cameroon where it was just so hot that you coudn’t even sleep.  So my family and I would drag our cots and a big mattress outside and sleep under the moon on our front porch.  Sara and I would be swept away on another “Winkin, Blinkin, and Nod” adventure (told by my father) until we would eventually drift off to sleep.  But before all that we would sing.  It seems like we were always singing something or another.  But on these particular nights, gazing up at all the millions of stars we would praise God,

“In the stars His handiwork I see,

On the wind He speaks with majesty,

Though He ruleth over land and sea,

What is that to me?

I will celebrate Nativity,

For it has a place in history,

Sure, He came to set His people free,

What is that to me?

Till by faith I met Him face to face,

and I felt the wonder of His grace,

Then I knew that He was more  than just a

God who didn’t care,

That lived a way out there and

Now He walks beside me day by day,

Ever watching o’er me lest I stray,

Helping me to find that narrow way,

He’s Everything to me.”

As I grew up and found more “popular” songs this one faded to the back of my memory.  Until one evening in 2007, while swimming in the Red Sea in Egypt I lay back to float on the water.  Looking up I saw a beautiful night sky full of twinkling stars.  And what do you suppose came to my mind?  Yep! “In the stars His handiwork I see…..”  I started singing my Dad’s song from my childhood.  It took me straight back to those hot nights in Cameroon. 

Songs are funny like that.  They bring back so many different memories and emotions.  For me, whenever i see a beautiful night sky, I think of “In the stars….” and lying as a family on a big old mattress staring at the beautiful stars of Africa. 

the poster on the wall (written while teaching in the Czech Republic)

the poster on the wall

So, I have this poster collage on my wall.  There are all these pictures of women.  In my eyes, painful women.  The kind who have this deep inset pain that they can’t seem to get rid of.  (Kind of like me-I guess that’s why I was drawn to them)  Anyway, on this collage I wrote, “Never forget the pain of others.”  I wanted it as a reminder to myself to never downplay, overlook, or dismiss others and their pain.  Tonight I realized that although well intended, my attempts at remembering have been futile.  I have forgotten. 

Here’s what happened tonight.  A group of girls and I went to see the movie “Desert Flower.”  It is about the life journey of Somalian supermodel.  (Although I won’t get into the movie here, it is amazing, heart wrenching, beautiful, and thought provoking.  Go and see it yourself).  Born in the desert, to a traditional Somalian family, she was circumcised when she was three years old.  Now, I have heard of female circumcision, but have never given it much thought.  Like most other horrific things and practices I hear about I never quite let them phase me.  Yes, I do get angry, upset, and dare I say, passionate.  Sometimes.  But usually at some point my daily life intervenes and I forget what I once was so angry about.  I forget the pain of others and begin to focus on my own “insurmountable” problems. 

I have wondered for a while now why it is that I feel somewhat deadened to horrifying things.  I have lived in a third world country and have seen poverty, pain, and suffering first hand.  Yet it doesn’t move me.  Dare I say that I have become used to it all?

I study history.  There is a lot of pain and suffering in history.  We humans work a number over on each other time and time again.  And slowly, after reading story after story they all become sort of a twisted normalcy.  It becomes a part of life.  And when tragic things become “just a part of life” I have forgotten how to feel.

But tonight all that changed.  I felt, truly felt the pain emanating from this girl.  There is this one scene in the movie where the little is being circumcised.  This young girl was the cutest thing in the world.  Hearing her screams reverberating throughout the theater, seeing the blood, and knowing what they were doing to her tore my heart.  Now I know the little girl is just an actress, and the blood isn’t real.  But it is for so many other girls.  They live everyday with a physical and emotional pain that I will never know.  No matter how much my own pain in life affects me, it can’t compare to their pain.  I have forgotten that.  Over the last few years I have elevated the importance of my own pain and in the process have de-elevated others.  And what has it left me with?  A deadened, unfeeling heart.

Now I may be a touch harsh on myself because I do care.  But then again I question, how much do I care?  How much do I really feel for others? 

I want to remember.  I want to live up to what my poster says.  I do not want to forget anymore.  I can’t forget anymore.  When I forget and make my pain more important than others, that’s when I lose who I am as a human being.  When humanity forgets, that’s when we stop being human.  But the question remains, how do I remember?  I’m not sure I know the answer.

So I have this poster on my wall.  It says, “Never forget the pain of others.”

Heidi's Back 2.0

Wow!  Has it really been 4 years since I posted on here?  Goodness!  Well, I think I'm going to start posting things again.  I really enjoy writing and sharing my crazy thoughts.  So let's get this partay started!

Thoughts on Islam

With everything that has happened in the Middle East recently my friends and I have been discussing politics and religion.  Specifically the picture posted below.  Here are some thoughts from a friend that I find truly insightful.  Hope it brings interesting discussions for you all!

"When 9/11 came, some Americans used the attacks as a tool to spread hate and violence among Muslims in America. Muslims were blamed, shunned, stereotyped, and in some cases assaulted. The media spread rumors and lies about Islam that still taint America's thought process. It took years for Muslims to get through it and still there is horrible racism in our country. Islam is a peace loving religion and what most want for the world is peace and not war. My fear with this recent attack is that it will re-fuel the hate and fear that America felt 11 years ago and will cause more oppression for the innocent Muslims who hate these attacks as much as we do. I want to stress that the few extremists should not be put in the same box as the rest." 


"This man was defending his RELIGION and was apologizing for those who make a bad name of Islam and Muhammad's teachings. I do not view the context of this photo to be political but religious for the reasons I have stated above. I am speaking about this subject because I have researched it. If I didn't I would not have said anything as I do not like to state my opinion before learning the facts. I have a four year religious degree and have also researched Islam. I also have friends who have lived in the middle east or are from countries where Islam is the primary religion. I have also read books/articles and watched movies that deal with Muslim responses to terroristic acts done in the name of Islam. I have also heard arguments on both sides of the argument regarding Islam being a violent religion. The foundation that Islam is built upon is not killing "infidel" but on their core faith: There is no God but Allah and Muhammad is his prophet. They have five pillars (core beliefs) and none of them are related to violence or killing of any kind. In fact, the Quran contains many scriptures that promote tolerance and freedom of people of other faiths and beliefs, and also promotes good treatment of people in general. Mohammed himself prayed for non-muslims rather than harming them because they didn't convert. There are violent scriptures within the Quran, but taking into consideration historical context, translations of the words used, and taking into context the Quran as a whole, the meanings of these texts indicate that these are rules of conduct in combat rather than a commandment to terrorize and murder. Have their been instances where Muslims have used these parts of the Quran to justify murder and terrorism? YES. Is this a reflection of the beliefs of Muslims as a whole? NO. There are over a billion Muslims in the world. It is the world's fastest growing religion. Out of this multitude we see but a very small amount of Muslims that use their religion to justify terror. I also feel that it is unfair to use the crusades as an indication of Islam's principles. Throughout Christianity's history the Bible has been used to justify racism, violence, murder, and even more evils. I could go on forever about the history of the church and the murders that were done in the name of Jesus. However, Christianity is also a peaceful religion. It promotes love, peace, and mercy. Religion is like a gun. Guns can be used for good or for evil, it all depends on who is holding the gun. With this whole issue my whole point is this: with the recent attacks in Libya and with all instances where we see muslims negatively portrayed on the news, we should keep in perspective that this is not portraying an entire people group's actions or beliefs and that we should not act in prejudice or racism for it." 

Africa is calling...

Hello!  It's been a long time since I posted anything and I apologize for that.  My extended family has been through a lot recently.  Last week Jay and Katrina Erickson died in a plane crash while serving as missionaries in Zambia, Africa.  While they are not related to me they are the relatives of my other Erickson family and for them I was saddened.  However, as I am wont to do, I quickly passed by this incident as yet another tragic death in Africa.  I personally didn't know this couple and while I felt bad for their two orphaned girls I moved on with my life.  I am rather ashamed to say that it didn't really affect me too much.  It wasn't until today that it all sank it.  I think it was hearing that Jay and Katrina were the 8th and 9th Ericksons to sacrifice their lives serving in the continent of Africa.  I was astounded by the legacy my family has had.  As a missionary kid to Africa myself and a relative of some of those Ericksons who gave their lives, I understand the pull this continent has on my family.  Africa runs through our blood.  It is a part of our past and it is a part of who we are today.  I believe Africa will always be in our future, but only God knows His plans for the beautiful continent that keeps calling our names.


The following is something my cousin Micah Erickson wrote about the legacy of the Erickson family in Africa.  I found it very touching and heart warming.

I write this letter to raise awareness for two great needs: two little girls, a 3 and 1 yr. old have just been orphaned.  A mission hospital that fulfills a desperate need in rural Africa, has just lost its only airplane.

This weekend, Jay Erickson and his wife, Katrina, were killed in a small airplane crash in Zambia, Africa.  Jay was a missionary pilot transporting patients, medical personnel, and supplies to a small mission hospital named Chitokoloki Mission hospital.  Jay and Katrina were flying over the Zambezi River when, for reasons still under investigation, the plane crashed into the river.  Jay and Katrina leave behind 3 yr. old Marina and 1 yr. old Coral.  Both girls will be flown back to the United States, by their grandparents, where they will be raised by Jay’s only sister and her husband. 

You can read more about the details of this crash by just doing a search engine query with their names. 

The part of this story that is not being told is the rich heritage that Jay and Katrina Erickson represent.  They are the 8^th and 9^th Erickson to lose their lives in Africa.  8 Erickson families have served as missionaries in Africa, spanning 3 generations, dating back over 80 years.  Jay and Katrina are the first of their generation to continue the work of the Lord, serving as missionaries in Africa.  Many other Ericksons have served or are currently serving in other countries around the world.  In fact, Jay’s only brother, Lance, is currently raising financial support to begin his service as a missionary pilot in Bolivia.

Jay grew up in Cameroun Africa, where his parents (Cam and Barbara Erickson) also served as missionaries.  Owan and Doreen Erickson (Cam’s brother) and their three children were involved in a tragic vehicle collision on July 1, 1985.  This crash took the lives of Owan, Doreen and their 2 yr. old son, Timothy.  Cam’s two nieces, Rhonda and Kjirsti, survived and were sent back to the United States where they were raised by their uncle and aunt.

On May 16, 1978, Ernest and Miriam Erickson (Cam’s uncle and aunt) were murdered in Yagoua, Cameroun.  This horrific incident left an indelible mark on the Erickson family, but ultimately led to the salvation of many Africans.

On October 27, 1959, Martha Erickson (Ernest and Miriam’s daughter-and Cam’s cousin) died from yellow fever.  Martha was in her early teens and much loved by the locals.  A hospital in Yagoua, Cameroun is still named after her.

On September 4, 1930, David Erickson, the newborn son of Odin and Jewel Erickson was taken home to the Lord after only 2 days of life in Ndjamena, Chad.

Very few families pass on any sort of passion from one generation to the next much less a passion for a continent, for a people; a people not of their own blood. Yet each Erickson generation has returned to carry on the ministry. Jay and Katrina Erickson are the third generation to give their lives to Africa. It is no exaggeration to say that the spiritual face of the entire continent of Africa has been impacted through the presence of this family. Countless Africans can trace their eternal lives back to an Erickson. 

As you see, the loss of Jay and Katrina Erickson has profoundly impacted the Erickson family, especially Cam and Barbara Erickson. 

1)      I am requesting you prayerfully consider helping out young Marina and Coral and their future as they will be raised by their uncle and aunt.  You can make checks payable to “Cam Erickson” and mail them to:

Erick Erickson

1195 8^th Dr.

Mukilteo, WA 98275

2)     The second immediate need, is the loss of the only airplane Chitokoloki Mission Hospital owned.  This airplane is a crucial necessity to the survival of those who live in remote areas of the country, and countless lives depended on it.  You can contact Gordon Hanna (the director) at the following addresses:

Chitokoloki Mission Hospital

Box 50,

Chitokoloki,

Zambezi, Zambia

 

 info@chitokoloki.com

Phone:      260 977 539815

 

3)     The third and last need is the support of Jay’s brother and sister in law, Lance and Caroline Erickson.  Lance is also a pilot and has joined SAMAIR.  Lance and Caroline, once their support is raised, will move to Bolivia, where they will essentially perform the same duties Jay and Katrina were performing in Africa.  You can help support them by contacting:

1021 Maxwell Mill Road, Suite B 
Fort Mill, SC 29708

Please be sure to make check out to "South America Mission" and include a note stating that it is for Lance & Caroline Erickson's ministry, account # 10451

Hold on to Me!

So I was driving home today from church and I heard Busted Hearts (Hold on to Me) by for King and Country on the radio.  I have heard it before but today the words just seeped into my soul.  This song is me.  It's like they are singing a recap of my life.  I love it how God always seems to put songs in my life that speak to me in such a profound way and are exactly what He is trying to teach me at that moment.  Thanks God.  Here are the lyrics and a link to their video:

Winter has come back again
Feels like the season won't end
My faith is tired tonight,
And I won't try to pretend,
I've got it all figured out,
That I don't have any doubts,
I've got a busted heart
I need You now
Yeah I need You now

Hold on to me
Hold on to me
Don't let me lose my way
Hold on to me

I am the wandering son
Enough is never enough
I keep chasing the wind
Instead of chasing Your love
I'm screaming out Your name,
Don't let me fall on my face
I've got a busted heart
I'm in need of a change
Yeah, I'm desperate for grace

Hold on to me (Hold on to me)
Hold on to me
Don't let me lose my way (Don't let me lose my way)
Hold on to me

Broke Your heart a thousand times
But You've never left my side
You have always been here
For me

You never let me go
You never let me go
Don't ever let me go

Hold on to me (Hold on to me)
Hold on to me
Don't let me lose my way (Don't let me lose my way)
Hold on to me
[2x]

Winter will come to an end
Soon the season will end
I surrender tonight
You meet me right where I am

I know this song is sung from the perspective of humanity crying to God, but when I hear "Hold on to Me"  I can't help but picture God singing that to me.  This is what He tells me over and over, "Heidi, hold on to me."  And at the same time I cry back "Hold on to me God, don't let me go."  God is my faithfulness.  Let me fall ever in love with you Lord!

Great song!

Ok, so I'm going to try and publish a video link in this post. I'm still trying to figure it all out so if you have any tips I'm all ears! But anywho, this song is awesome and I've been listening to it a lot recently! I love how it describes God's love as furious!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFEwHNZ5qxM

Found out how to put in a video!  Here it is!

oh goodness...

Here's the image. I didn't post it right the first time. So...what theme do you think I tried to capture here?

My first mosaic piece!

Hey ya'll!

Here's a pic of my first mosaic piece. Well traditional mosaic. I did a renaissance mosaic picture frame earlier. But this is my first large piece. And it's almost done. I just have to grout it and then I'm finished! Any guesses on what my theme is?

Why Do We Forget?

Here's a recent post on my facebook notes that I wrote not too long ago.

Why do we forget? The past? What happens? The horrors that us humans inflict on each other? I don’t understand why we forget. I just finished reading Sarah’s Key by Tatiana De Rosnay and I am left with a deep sadness that I cannot seem to fathom. It’s about a Jewish girl who endured the roundup in July 1942 in Paris. It’s about her pain, her torment. It’s also about Julia, a 21st century journalist who is inexplicably changed by her discovery of Sarah. Julia was horrified when she realized what the French police did that summer. She was even more horrified upon discovering that most of France didn’t know or seem to care. Throughout the book are the words, “Remember. Never Forget,” and I couldn’t help but think that that is exactly what the world has done. We have forgotten. I was never taught about this specific roundup in school. Sure I was taught about the Holocaust in general, but not about Paris in July 1942. In all our dates and facts and details we have forgotten. It’s so easy to get caught up in what happened and forget that at the root of it all are people; people who should be remembered. So where does this leave me? Where does this leave you? How do we remember? I’m not sure I know. All I know is that after reading this book I’m left with an ache in my heart for the people of the past, of those who are forgotten. There is a deep sadness within me, and like Julia I wonder if it will ever go away? I wonder if I have been irrevocable changed? And I wonder what this change means for me.

Heidi's Back!

Hello everyone! Well it's been about 2 years since I've posted something on here and I thought it high time I start! So I revamped my blog and am joining the blogging world again. Since I'm no longer living in Central Europe I changed the title (to one of my favorite quotes) and now this blog will cover my new life in Minot, North Dakota!! I really just wanted a venue to post my art projects, show off my crazy "heidi style," vent my frustrations, and explain what God is teaching me. Hope you all enjoy!!

Hey friends! I can't believe that January has come and gone. Where on earth is the time going? I'm excited for Feb to be here...yet at the same time I meet it with trepidation. Let me tell you why...On Feb 22 I have to tell Teach Overseas if I want to stay another year. And I have NO idea what to do. I'm not one for decision making in general, and this decision is not any easier. I've gone back and forth between wanting to stay, wanting to go home (wherever that is), wanting to live in Prague, wanting to stay in Ostrava...I can honestly say that I have no idea what to do. And I don't want to make this decision all about me. Really this decision needs to be about where God wants me to go...but right now God is not being exactly clear. So this is where you all come in. Please pray for me. I really don't know what God has in store for next year, but I want to follow His guidance. Please pray that God will direct me on which path to choose. Thanks friends for all your love and support! I really appreciate it! Bye for now...and I'll let you know whatever happens in 2 weeks!

The ESI (Teach Overseas) address has changed!!! Here is the new address!


Educational Services International / TeachOverseas
639 N. Soldano Ave.
Azusa, CA 91707

Jan Newsletter

Veselé Vánoce a šťastný Nový rok (Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!)

I can’t believe that it’s the New Year already. 2009 has sure flown by! So has my time in the Czech Republic. It’s been four months since I moved to Ostrava, Czech Republic and life has never slowed down. Since I’ve reached the halfway point of my stay here I thought it high time I updated everyone on my life in Central Europe. So here it goes…..

Life in the Czech
Oh goodness, (insert sigh) how do I begin to describe life here in Central Europe? Different, challenging, hard, adventuresome, stretching, wonderful…these are only a few of the words that I can think of. In many ways life is not that much different from how I would live in the US. I buy my groceries at a local supermarket, work in an office building, hang out with friends, travel around the country, go to church, and spend time with my teammates. But there are little differences in my weekly routines…I walk to the grocery store instead of driving my car, I take public transportation to hang out with friends or my teammates, I travel the country by trains and not planes, and my church is in Czech and not English. Everything is increasingly becoming more familiar as the months go by. The language is still one of my biggest challenges. It’s been four months and I still feel like I understand nothing. Every once and a while I give the ladies at the grocery store weird looks when they rattle off numbers in Czech and look at me expectantly while I’m just trying to figure out how much I owe them. But the more I listen and study the more I pick up. I also receive Czech lessons at the school I teach at, which helps me to pick up the language.

There is much I love about living in Central Europe, but I have narrowed it down to three. 1) Riding public transportation. While taking the bus or the tram all the time can become a drag, I’ve found that generally I love riding public transit. And while I do miss jamming out to tunes while driving my car I don’t miss driving my car…too much. 2) All the cool people I meet from other areas of the world. I am very blessed to be living in a city with a substantial English speaking community. Not only do the other teachers at Fishnet all speak English (of course because they teach it!) but I have also met various Young Life workers from America and another choir ministry leader from England. These people, as well as my four teammates, are fast becoming my community over here in Ostrava. And I’m also blessed to know the other ESI (Teach Overseas) teachers in Central Europe. I view them as my extended community. It is comforting to know that there are many people to turn to for help, or to just listen when I have a particularly challenging day. 3) Traveling! Everyone knows that I LOVE to travel. And so far in these past couple months I have been able to go to four new countries: Czech Republic, Poland, Hungary, and Austria. Although I haven’t spent too much time in any of these countries I have enjoyed all the places I have gotten to see and the people I have gotten to visit. My highlights have been spending five days in October in Prague (what a beautiful city!), Krakow and Auschwitz-Birkenau in Poland, Christmas in Budapest, Hungary, and Salzburg, Austria. If you want to know more about some of my crazy adventures in these countries (i.e. driving over a sidewalk in Krakow or visiting the spas in Budapest) please ask. I’d love to tell you!

Teaching and Ministry
Any experienced teacher will tell you that your first year teaching is always your worst. I didn’t really understand that statement until I began teaching. Throughout my life I’ve always had high expectations of myself, and I didn’t realize that I had high expectations of my teaching ability until I did not meet those expectations. I never thought teaching would be easy, but I never thought it would be that hard either. I’ve always been good at what I do and I expected to be good at teaching too. Well…let’s just say that I fully believe that statement now. It’s not that teaching is going horribly, it’s not. I truly love my students and enjoy the time I spend with them. The hard part is not really knowing what I’m doing sometimes. I’ve never been a teacher before and I’ve never taken classes on how to be a teacher, so I’m slowly learning how to actually teach. It’s confusing and frustrating and at times I want to pull my hair out. But then I have a day where my lessons go well and I have a great time with my students and it makes all the pain and frustration worth it.
As most of you know, I teach for a Christian language school called Fishnet. I have 10 different classes with students ranging from high schoolers to adults to business men and women. While the constant change and variety in my students is overwhelmingly challenging at times, I love them all and enjoy the time I spend with them.

I came to Ostrava knowing that God wants me here for a purpose. I’m still not sure what that purpose is and what God has in store for me here, but I am learning to be comfortable in the unknown, to trust that God has it all under control. Ostrava is blessed to have many avenues of ministry available for ESI teachers to get involved in: Young Life, choir ministry, English clubs, etc. And while I believe all of them are great I feel led to concentrate on teaching and building relationships with my students. While it has been hard to get to know them really well since we only meet once a week I am excited to see what will happen in this New Year.

Prayer Requests
I truly thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for praying for me. I could not be here without all your support. Please continue to pray for me as I follow God’s guidance in my life. Here are some of my prayer requests:
-That I will teach in such a way that my students will learn
-That my students will see God’s light in my life
-That God will use me to bless my students, my teammates, my community, and my co-workers
-That I will continue growing in my relationship with God and continue to trust Him
-That I will follow God’s guidance and plans for me next year


Thank you again for all your love, prayer, and support. Feel free to write! I’d love to tell you even more about my time over here!
Blessings and peace be upon you,
Heidi Michelle

Christmas Holiday!

So my Christmas vacation (or holiday as they say here in the Czech) got off to a slow and rather unplanned start. My last class was on Thursday and after taking in some fun Czech Christmas parties my roommate Leah and teammate Emily and I packed up and headed to the train station to catch our train to Budapest, Hungary. Well.......we got there and the train was 40 minutes late. So if we would miss our connection in some other random town that I can't pronounce. So we decided to go home and wait for another train that would get us in to Budapest around 2:30 am. 2:30? Not that bad right considering. Oh, but no! We take a closer look at we realize that we would have to spend 3 hours at the train station in Brno and get in to Budapest around 8:30 am. So we X that idea because none of us want to spend 10 hours on a train and 3 at a station. So we opt for number 3: leave at 2:30 AM from Ostrava and head straight to Budapest and get there at 8:30 am. At least we don't have to switch trains and it's only 6 hours. And we all agreed that it will be nice to get into the city while there is light outside and no night buses that only run once an hour. I can only shake my head and laugh at traveling in a different country.

So my plans for this Christmas break is to spend the first couple days (and Christmas itself) in Budapest with my roommate and some other ESI teachers. First Christmas away from home...but it's looking to be a good one! On the 23rd we are planning on spending the day shopping in Vienna (I love that I can say that-"Oh I'm just popping over to Austria-no biggie") and then on the 26th Leah and I will be going to Bratislava to spend some time with our ESI friend Ashley. Then Leah, Ashley, Ashley's friend from America and I will all being going to Salzburg, Austria where we will meet up with another ESI friend Deanna. I'm pretty excited to see all the fun places from Sound of Music and to visit the church where Silent Night was written. It's going to be a great break! Then Leah and I will be going home to Ostrava on the 1st of Jan. Gotta rest and relax and prep for classes to begin again. So those are my plans and I will keep up updated on whatever happens! Have a very Merry Christmas!

Auschwitz-Birkenau

Hello everyone. I know its been about a month since I last wrote something here. I am sorry for my lack of updates. Hopefully I'll get better as time goes on. And I am still trying to figure out how to post pictures so you can see what is going on here in the Czech Republic. All in good time I hope. But I did want to talk a little about my recent trip to Krakow and Auschwitz-Birkenau. Krakow is only a couple hours away from my home in Ostrava, CZ and so some friends and I decided to drive there to see the lovely city and visit the concentration camp that is close by. Driving itself was an adventure (and another story for another time). The city of Krakow was beautiful and perfectly relaxing. My friends, Steph, Alyssa, and Anneka and I ran around the city taking pictures and popping our heads into various stores and coffee shops. It was nice not to have a plan or schedule of what to do when. Hence why the day was so relaxing.

Our only plan was to stop by Auschwitz-Birkenau on Sunday before driving home. As morbid as it sounds I have always wanted to visit a concentration camp. There is something about WWII that fascinates me. And as a student of history I believe it is something that I must do, especially since I live so close to it. So heading into the weekend I was unsure of how I would react when we got there. Would I bawl my eyes out? (I'm a rather emotional person so I expected a flood of tears) Would I throw my hands up in the air, disgusted and frustrated with the existence of evil in the world? Would my heart break inside of me, feeling the pain and anguish of those who had passed through the gates of the camps? What would I do and how would I feel? I just didn't know. But I expected tears and a heaviness of heart.

So when we arrived we joined an audio tour of Auschwitz and Birkenau. Auschwitz looked much prettier than I expected. The buildings were made of red brick and there were trees everywhere. I had expected more desolation and was surprised to see trees and such. Granted I still would not have wanted to live there...but it was nicer than I expected. We spent the better part of 2 hours walking around this camp and looking at the displays set up in the buildings (also called blocks). Auschwitz had been turned into a museum with a variety of displays, showing the history of the camp and those who were imprisoned there. I enjoyed hearing all the stories and thought the information was helpful. But I didn't get to process anything. We were rushed from exhibit to exhibit that nothing really sank in. The whole time I also kept thinking, "I've seen this before. Why is this so special." And I felt horrible for thinking that. It's just that I've been to Holocaust museums before and have studied atrocities in history and now I was walking through a place that FELT like a museum. I had to remind myself that it wasn't just a museum...this is where those atrocities ACTUALLY occurred. It was hard to make that sink in. I think the one moment that made everything hit home was when we went to the camp prison. Our guide was explaining that in the basement there were various types of cells in which to punish, torture, and kill prisoners. After walking through the building and seeing the cells and then walking to the back where guards would herd prisoners from this building outside to kill them I was speechless. Words really can't explain what and how I was feeling. Sometimes I think I still don't know what exactly I felt at that moment. The whole tour we heard so much information that it is still hard to make sense of it all.

After seeing that camp we got on a bus and drove to Birkenau which is only 1 kilometer away. Now Birkenau looked like what I expected a concentration camp to look like. Flat, muddy, no trees, and desolate. It was evening time so there was a thin mist that covered the camp. It just looked and felt completely desolate and had this eerie and foreboding feeling about it. It was really weird and rather surreal to be standing in the place where people were turned to the right and to the left-death or life (which was more like hell on earth). It was just really weird to be standing in a place where so much pain and suffering took place. And all I could think about was how we have not evolved that much over the past 65 years. Sure nothing to the extent of the Holocaust has happened since then, but people are still murdered, brutalized, raped, and tortured all over the world. The pain and suffering that is so prevalent in the concentration camps and gulags of the past exist all over the world. And really, why do I need to go to a concentration camp to see the reality of evil, pain and suffering when all I really have to do is look in front of me? Don't get me wrong here...I think it is important to see these places so we always remember the past. I just wonder why we tend to create a chasm between the past and the present and concentrate so much of the suffering of the past when it exists right in front of our faces.

So I'm not sure what I expected to learn by going to Auschwitz-Birkenau, and I am not sure if I learned anything. But I hope it has made me more aware of the present. And really this is why I chose to study history...to understand where we are today and how to prevent making the same mistakes all over again. So history is really all about the future. But what does that mean for the present?

So those are my random thoughts about my trip to Auschwitz-Birkenau. I don't promise to have any answers, nor do I always need them. Sometimes the journey is the questions.

PS...if you want more information about Auschwitz-Birkenau my friend Alyssa found some guys blog about the camps. It is really informative and explains more about what is at the camps-the exhibits and stuff. Here is the website to his blog:

http://scotteurope2009.travellerspoint.com/8/

First week down....aplethera more to go

So i have just finished my first full week of teaching. I have 8 classes with 19 hours of teaching. So far everything has gone great. Lesson planning is still a challenge for me but I'm sure it will get better as I get used to the books I am using. I am teaching youth and adult community classes as well as adults at 2 different businesses. All of my students are at the B2 level (upper intermediate). So it is nice that I can reuse some lessons. All of my students have such great and varying personalities. It will be fun to see how the year progresses and how I relate to my different classes. But they are so much fun to talk to and they make me laugh...so life is good.

Tomorrow I have Friday Fellowship with teachers from Fishnet (the language school i work at) and other Americans and Brits here in Ostrava. I look forward to this time of fellowship every week. I am really blessed to have a great community of people here in Ostrava. One thing about living abroad that i truly love is how many different people you meet from different countries. I have become friends with a couple people from Britain and some of my teemates and I met a girl from Hungary today. She is super sweet, speaks amazing english, and does not have many friends here in Ostrava. So it is nice to be a blessing to others, as well as be blessed by them. I am excited to get to know her more.

So not much else going on right now. I'm trying to concentrate on being a good teacher (that means being well prepared for my classes) and seeing how God will use me to bless my students. It's a comfort to know that God has placed me here for a reason...i sometimes just wish He would let me in on the secret :) But I have to say I am excited to see what is going to happen. I am growing so much in my relationship with God. Before I left Pasadena I asked God to make me trust Him more and all I can say is that He is answering this pray in not too subtle ways. But I am excited to see where this will take me in my life with God.

Well I have a three day weekend since Monday is a public holiday. I'm hoping to get out and see a town close by, or maybe a castle. So I will keep you updated! Have a great weekend everyone and God Bless!

YA for teaching!

So I just wanted to let everyone know that I've started teaching and my first couple of classes have gone really well. I had a youth class this afternoon (about 11 teenagers) and it was a blast! They make me laugh. I know I'm really going to enjoy this class. I'm confident my other classes will go great as well. I will give you all more of an update later. But thank you for your prayers...they are felt...and please continue to pray for God's guidance through this crazy adventure.

life goes on

Dobry Den (good day) from Ostrava! I am now in my second week of living in this amazing city. So far I've just been settling into my new flat (apartment) and getting adjusted to the city. My school also provides free Czech lessons which is extremely helpful. I'm not sure how well I'll do...but at least i'm trying. I start teaching next week (probably) we're not completely sure on our schedules. So keep me in your prayers as I begin lesson planning and figuring out crazy English grammar :) Gotta go! But i'll keep you all posted!

I've arrived in Ostrava! I have tons to tell you all but for now I'll let you know about the pictures i've posted on facebook. Check them out! the address is:

http://www.facebook.com/editpicture.php?success=1#/profile.php?id=98300737&v=photos&ref=profile

have fun!